Practice Squad - Week 1

Scratch Wins Beats The Scout Team, 34-30

Monday, December 24, 2018 - Scratch got kicked off the main roster and was remanded to the scout team for this week and next.

Editor’s Note: Okay, the Practice Squad concept is simply a way for me to interject 2 more weeks into the preseason so that I can hit the regular season as the first week in the new year. If you are stupid enough to try this diet, feel free to ad lib like this too… It’s part of the fun. For some value of stupid, I would like to see how it goes from Week 1 regular season in January all the way up until the pool opens on Memorial Day. So for my health goals, that should be a great way to evaluate how I have done.

How much will I weight when the pool opens? What is the over under? I don’t even want to go there.

It was the scout team, but fat dude won…

A win is a win… Scratch will take it… Maybe he will get off the practice squad next week?

A win is a win… Scratch will take it… Maybe he will get off the practice squad next week?


Preseason - Week 5

Inner Fat Slob rolls over Scratch’s fat rolls, 27-40

Monday, December 17, 2018 - Scratch lost, but this week wasn’t all that bad. It started off with a Christmas party at the boss’s house. Even on that that day, a 16:8 fast had been completed. Same could be said of Friday and the other days too.

So yes, a loss is a loss, but Scratch didn’t get worse as a team, which mean’s he didn’t gain or lose any weight this week. Hey, it is freaking December… Christmas parties, happy hours, guests, food galore… Is that really that bad?

Okay, he still lost. Loser.

Good effort, but a losing effort…

Good effort, but a losing effort…


Preseason - Week 4

Scratch gets run over, 23-47

Monday, December 10, 2018 - Week 4 was a disaster health wise. Scratch only saw two winning days counting calories. Moreover by the end of it, he threw the towel in and essentially gave up. Moreover it was incredibly busy at work and there were numerous social occasions, including his birthday dinner on Thursday. There was happy hour on Friday. Saturday was a night out with another friend and by Sunday, Scratch was content to to quit. This coming week will be moving to a 20:4 Intermittent Fasting Daily Gameday Objective.

Scratch returns to his losing ways. Will a return to intermittent fasting do the trick?

Scratch returns to his losing ways. Will a return to intermittent fasting do the trick?


Preaseason - Week 3

Scratch Wins, pummels Inner Fat Slob, 44-20

Monday, December 3, 2018 - It was the week after Thanksgiving and Scratch buckled down. He started off with a really good fast day on Monday, but was dejected when Tuesday turned out to be a binge day. He lost again on Wednesday and it was close. Scratch was certain he was going to go back to the old Daily Gameday Objective of the Warrior’s Diet. He ran off four great days counting calories while also adhering to the 20:4 intermittent fasting approach. Great finish to the week. This fat slob might have potential. We have a long way to go and one preseason week is nothing to get to excited about.

Finally, Scratch got one in the win column! And, it was a hard goal to achieve too.

Finally, Scratch got one in the win column! And, it was a hard goal to achieve too.


Preseason - Week 2

Scratch loses again 27-43; What a turkey

It was Thanksgiving week. This is the classic trap game. You have a holiday and it is not just the holiday—you got all those other days packed in with relatives and friends and other events. This week certainly got the best of Scratch, but in some ways, he didn’t quit. There he was on Sunday back to the gym, intermittent fasting and counting calories.

Dude. Just give up. You suck ass.

Dude. Just give up. You suck ass.


Preaseason - Week 1

Scratch Goes Down, 16-54

What a bum! Scratch sucks. His health—like the Cleveland Browns football franchise.

What a bum! Scratch sucks. His health—like the Cleveland Browns football franchise.

Monday, Nov. 26, 2018 - We acknowledge that Scratch has a lot of damn work to do. On his weight loss journey there were a lot of ups and downs. I will say he worked hard on counting calories and sticking to some form of intermittent fasting. However, beer just got the best of him. If this first official week of Season 47 taught us anything about this fat blubbering pile of guts, is that we have a long way to go. It isn’t going to be easy. This guy hasn’t been in shape in over 10 years. 100 pounds. I doubt it. I’ll likely be on the hot seat by Week 4 and be out of job. This guy is pathetic.