Scoring Update: Good day at the gym, but frustrated at how fat I really am

Posted by Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - I am at one of those plateaus and weight loss stages that can be really frustrating—not so much because my weight has stalled but because of this growing realization that—”Holy Heck, I really am a fatso!” 

That is where I am right now.

Today was a “Dynasty Day”. I went to the gym last night, counted calories and completed another intermittent fast 20/4 style.

Today was a “Dynasty Day”. I went to the gym last night, counted calories and completed another intermittent fast 20/4 style.

Not so long ago, there was a time when I was hovering around 315-pounds. At that weight, I actually didn’t think I looked all that bad. After all, when I dropped down below 310-pounds I felt trim and tone and looking good. 

True story. I joked about my weight with this scientific data scientist who was an expert at picking out statistical relationships that are hard to identify and correlate.  

I told him that I often joke with my wife that—“Of all the guys over 300 pounds… I was the best looking.” 

He countered that my wife might look at it the other way. She might say that— “All the good looking guys, I’m the only one over 300 pounds!”

I was at the gym last night and had a great workout and burned a lot of calories. The scale has been the lowest all year but for whatever reason when I looked in mirror at the gym last night, I was dejected. It’s like suddenly I realize how fat I am.  Why should this be?

In my quest to lose 100-pounds, I have lost 20 of them so far. I should be happy. However, I am at that frustration stage, where I’m like—”Holy heck you really are a fatso.”

Perhaps it is because I can see myself for real, for the first time, when I look in the mirror now. There is no mental cloudiness or perhaps ego filter that has me always looking like I am in my 30s. 

When I look at myself in the gym mirror now I am both encouraged and disheartened—“Wow I actually am that fat guy and I actually do wear those pants.”

On the positive, I can see clearly now some fat is gone.

I see how far I got to go. I didn’t see it that way when I was maxed out at my fat out (New FFD term: My Fat Out - The fatest one has ever been). 

So I’m gonna look at this situation as seeing the truth as to what I need to do and where I need to put the work. I got 80 pounds to go. Is that impossible?

No. Hell no.

Today is another day and that means another day at the gym. I hear the whistle of the day beginning. I have the ball. What will I do with it today.

Ready break.