Week 2 - presser: Let’s count some calories too

Should we start counting calories on Intermittent Fasting?

I expect more out of you, then what you gave me on Sunday.

I expect more out of you, then what you gave me on Sunday.

Ladies and Gentleman, Coach Corksoaker is in the house…

This is Coach Corksoaker here and I am ready for your dumb-ass questions about Season 48 of The Football Fan’s Diet—Week 2 in particular.

How did Scratch do during Week 1?

In Week 1 of Season 48, Scratch successfully did his friggin’ intermittent fasting of 20-hours of fasting and a 4-hour eating window—he did it every goddamned, f’n day.

Who cares? Nobody, right?

However, Intermittent Fasting is all great, but Scratch really took advantage of that eating window, and dare I say, I don’t even know that I can count Sunday a Touchdown. In fact Sunday is NOT a Touchdown. He scores no touchdown for that horseshit he pulled.

What did Scratch do on Sunday?

The guy walked around the lake for an hour and a half. He logged over 4 miles and burned a lot of calories. That was really healthy, but then he went to the bar and afterward, drink about seven beers, and I’m talking pints. And he ate five bologna sandwiches. You tell me is that freaking healthy?

The breakdance fight That Never Happened

What is in store for this week Coach?

I’m going to challenge Scratch this week to keep that beer down and to focus his eating window on counting calories. Yes, dammit, that is right. I want him to count some freaking calories. I know he hates doing it but we need to whip his ass into shape. Far too often, Scratch looks for ways to bend the rules, almost to the point where you wonder why he even wants to come up with rules in the first place?

If you give him any sort of loop hole, he will, jump through it. He needs to no longer look for health loop holes. Hell, if you can eat what you want for 4-hours make it sensible. I shouldn’t have to tell him not to pig out for 4-hours. It is a damned shame I have to mandate that he count his calories this week during that eating window.

Please know that all too often a common mistake in intermittent fasting is simply eating too much during your reward, eating window.

Scratch got the W during Week 1. But, should his    Daily Gameday Objective    be more difficult to achieve?

Scratch got the W during Week 1. But, should his Daily Gameday Objective be more difficult to achieve?

What was the problem last week?

I think the past week is a classic intermittent fasting trap. You can over indulge on intermittent fasting when it is your time to eat. This is a common pitfall and should be dealt with and on. 

Is there a caloric amount Scratch will have to track?

So this weeks he must stay under an average of 2,200 calories per day. There you have it. For Scratch to score a touchdown, not only does he have to keep his calories inside a 4 hour eating window, he must limit them to 2,200, enough to sustain a loss of 1-pound per week.

Is that too easy for Scratch?

Nothing is too easy for him when it comes to health. The more we dumb it down for him, the better. Now then, I have to get the hell out of this place… See you next week.

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