Week 4 - Presser: Scratch gets it done, but gets smacked around on Friday

Coach Corksoaker is happy that Scratch won, but he has seen much worse—and he hates these Tuesday pissers, eh pressers. He often frets that Scratch should actually do a YouTube video Presser each week. Scratch is working on that, but Coach Corksoaker doesn’t buy it.

Coach Corksoaker is happy that Scratch won, but he has seen much worse—and he hates these Tuesday pissers, eh pressers. He often frets that Scratch should actually do a YouTube video Presser each week. Scratch is working on that, but Coach Corksoaker doesn’t buy it.

This is Coach Corksoaker here and even though I don’t want to be here I will listen to you F’n idiots because it is part of my job. Go ahead and ask your dumb ass stupid questions. Truth be told, this is the part of the job I hate the most: talking to A-holes in the media, so bare with me. 

Coach, Did Scratch have a good week of intermittent fasting 20/4?

Anytime we beat The Fat Fan is a good week. Scratch dominated his Fat Man, his inner fat slob, his bad self, whatever… Even though he’s not given enough credit for it by some of you media A-holes types. Yes, he got his ass kicked Friday and he failed in his goal to rich a new weight range, but he still won. He got the job done and that is what counts. He had a week where the F’n weight went down.

Scratch seems frustrated that despite his adherence to intermittent fasting 20/4 dieting he is stuck on a weight loss plateau.

Is that a question or a statement? Yes he has been stuck at a certain level for almost 2 weeks now and it is frustrating.  He wants the 280s and he is fractions of a pound from getting there. It could happen at any moment, providing he stays the course.

Three days in a row he thought he was close to breaking through to the next level but he didn’t do it last week. So what?

On Friday The Fat Man struck back and struck back in a big way. The Fat Man took the ball down the field to the tune of 6,000 yards, eh, I mean calories. Yes, he ate 6,000 freaking calories on Friday. If he does that again he will not only be a laughing stock of the league, he will continue to be a a Fat Mother F’er.

It seemed that Friday, Scratch’s weight loss vulnerabilities on health defense were exposed?  

It happens and we have to move on as a health team. Certainly it wasn’t good. We need to work on being healthy ALL week, not just when we have the ball. Still, I like how scratch responded Saturday and Sunday by simply keeping it within the intermittent fasting parameters of what we’re trying to do here. He ran the intermittent fasting 20/4 offense playbook and then he ran the counting calories defense, adequately. The phrase ‘good enough’ comes to mind. Week 3 was still a win though not as good as the week before—just good enough. 

Do you plan to make changes to the intermittent fasting 20/4 playbook this week?

What should we change this week?  The Daily Gameday Objective is going to stay the same so I don’t see that changing at all.

Of course, we may experiment with new wrinkles in the intermittent fasting playbook. I think we have an opportunity to improve our offense by figuring out a way to even out our efforts in the beginning of the week versus the last few days or the weekends. There needs to be more of an even keeled effort from Monday to Sunday.

I think one of Scratches biggest weaknesses is that he looks at running up a bunch of points early in the game (Monday through Thursday) as an excuse to go lazy on defense for a couple days and coast in the fourth quarter. We can never rest while we were ahead. True champions play all 60 minutes and Scratch needs to accept that if he ever wants to be a health champion and not a joke.

If you are not changing the intermittent fasting 20/4 offense, what about adding a few new plays?

I’m gonna throw a couple wrinkles in the play book this week. I’m going to ask that Scratch replace at least one beer night with having a glass of wine or two and that is it. 

We simply need to get the beer calories down. Not only that, but they interfere with his appetite control. It is probably all the beer he drank on Friday that led to that McDonald’s binge that just was awful. Friday was the single worst defense effort I have seen so far on Season 48 of The Football Fan’s Diet. For Christ’s sake, he had Friday in hand. I watched the game film. It was around 6 pm on Friday Scratch was at Hal’s Bar and Grill. He ordered a healthy chicken dinner with broccoli and rice. He had had his Sam Adams of course, but for crying out loud… If he would have left it at that… He would have won the day. But, what did he do?

Scratch met a friend at the Highland Bar in West View. There the smoke and cheap beer came into play and Scratch let his guard down. On the way home, he simply gave up and went to McDonald’s.

He purchased 4 double cheeseburgers, 2 chicken sandwiches, and a basket of fries. This stayed in the car until he could eat all that crap alone watching TV when the family was asleep. That my friend, is a classic binge!

So for all that hard work early in the week, it served to set up that trip to McDonald’s. I would rather Scratch just relax a little earlier in the week—heck have a beer here and there—if it means not caving in and heading out for fast food.

I actually heard they make these new devices that shock the hell out of you when you hit a fast food joint. He needs one of those…

What can Scratch do to get to the next level of his health?. 

While scratch battles that next level, he needs to be patient and run the offense and let his progress evolve more naturally—and less obsessively. So no major changes coming to the play book other than some personal challenges.

Scratch will run a wine offense instead of a beer offense on a couple days of the week and we’ll see how that goes. This could be new territory for him. He simply can’t drink all that beer anymore and hope to realistically drop a 100 pounds of weight.

The Season high is 312 and Scratch is now at 290. That is 22 pounds. That is 22-percent of the way there. That is good. Yes, he hit a plateau, but he has to just relax and keep doing what he is doing.

I had to use the word, because Scratch for whatever reason doesn’t seem to like it, but getting to the next level will be a case of hi diddle diddle, moderation up the middle.

Can you Run through the numbers from Last week

Oh shit, I left all that crap in the car. So I can’t.

See day-by-day scoring for this week on the The Football Fan’s Diet by checking out the box scores. Click the orange button below. Now get out of here.