Week 1 presser: More intermittent fasting, less waking up time

Week 1 Presser: OTAs

Each week our imaginary coach, Coach Corksoaker, will hold a press conference, and talk about Scratch’s progress to date on his intermittent fasting 20/4 weight loss healthy journey. Coach will also talk about the current week’s opponent on The Football Fan’s Diet, which could anything. The man is quite ornery so please—try not to piss him off. Oh, wait… Here is here:

‘‘This is Coach Major Corksoaker and I’m here to tell you that Week One on the Season 48 is underway, but you already knew that—you media dolts. I hate dealing with you freakin’ idiot’s so please can we get this underway.’’

Coach Major Corksoaker has little patience with fat guys that make excuses and even less patience with the media.

Coach Major Corksoaker has little patience with fat guys that make excuses and even less patience with the media.

How would you summarize Scratch’s Weight Loss efforts to date as Season 48 is getting underway?

“Scratch is coming off a Memorial Day holiday and we like what we see with the intermittent fasting. However this week he’s going to continue to push his intermittent fasting daily gameday objective of 20 hours of fasting with a four hour eating window to the next level.”

What do you mean Scratch will look for more opportunities to improve his intermittent fasting?

‘‘We are also going to look for opportunities to be healthy and cultivate that bias for activity and healthier food chooses. One of the things we need to work out on this week is getting scratch off his fat butt during the week.  We had acknowledge that we have work to do there.’’

How would you judge Scratch’s Weight Loss Journey this past Weekend?

‘‘The weekends have seen Scratch become very active in the yard and even running around his neighborhood like a nut job. We like that kind of mentality and activity for a 47-year-old-guy.’’

‘‘That kind of hard work will pay off eventually.’’

How can Scratch Take his Health Game even further this week?

‘‘I challenge Scratch to take his game higher by making the choices that champion football players make. When it comes to health, a good example is Scratch’s commute home from work.’’ 

‘‘Know if there are not any more questions than that concludes this weeks presser.’’

What you mean by Scratch needs less ‘wake up’ time?

‘‘When you gets his fat butt out of bed in the morning, he takes too long to drink his coffee. He needs to have one cup and get his butt in gear for the day. Sometimes, this slob will sit there thinking about crap for 45 minutes… Can’t do that if he wants to be a champion. He needs to drink his coffee and move that fat butt into action.”