PITTSBURGH (FFD) - Last week the Prophet was off again, and we are hard pressed to understand what may have interfered with his divine football powers this time. Alas, we think it was climate change. Climate change must be for real then?
After two weeks of losing picks, not only did Scratch and Bud plan to pick up the Prophet with more beer drinking, we also sought the support of others at the Hiland Bar & Grill.
We needed to build more communal good will, which we hoped would appease the Football gods once and for all. We believed such extra support would certainly return the Prophet to his miracle-like, foretelling of football fortune.
And so it has been said, and so it shall come to pass: Prophet sees this week’s Steelers game as the Steelers reigning victorious to the angel, harp-playing tune of thy mighty Steelers 24, and the lowly sack-of-shit Raiders, 17.
This is a bold pick!
Alas, we must remember, the Steelers never play well out in the West coast.
Big Ben Roethlisberger is 0-3 out there in Oakland. However, this is a big game for the Steelers and we think the football gods shall back up Prophet in this week’s predication.
Frankly, we feel we can’t lose this week.
Not only did Bud and Scratch drink more to support the Prophet, the lovely bartenders of the Hiland Bar, Amanda and Stephanie, gave us a thumbs up too.
The good will didn’t end with Amanda and Stephanie.
Apparently, Santa Clause himself, was thirsty that Happy Hour, and showed up for a few drinks.
We made another new friend too. We call this patron, “Sparrow” due to his uncanny resemblance to the movie character Jack Sparrow.
So now then, will the football gods be appeased? We think so.
We got Bud and Scratch sacrificing more beers than usual to support the Prophet. We got Stephanie and Amanda supporting the prophet too. Sparrow and Santa are helping to put us over the top.
It has been said and therefore—like a dish of bad clams on the Feast of Seven Fishes—it shall come to pass.
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