Dealing with linebacker lasagna

By Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - It is hard to turn down a great heaping slice of lasagna. A scrumptious lasagna pan got the better part of me yesterday. I was sacked by “linebacker lasagna”. What can I do now to recover my health plans? 

The first thing I might do is study the play and see where I got beat. On offense, I called an intermittent fasting play. The other team called a lasagna blitz.

I had the wrong offense called for this defense. So how did this play break down.

  I ran my butt off at the gym. That is a field goal.

I ran my butt off at the gym. That is a field goal.

I fasted all day and went to the gym at night. However, when I got home there was a tray of lasagna on the kitchen table and it hit me hard. It spoke to me and taunted me. It was inching up to the line of scrimmage. The ball snapped. Boom. It hit me. The lasagna beat my offense.

Woof. Woof. Woof. Gulp. Man, that lasagna was freaking unbelievable!

Early in the day, I had success with my “wing right wholesome salad” that included tons of vegetables. My wing right wholesome salad is in actuality a Green Goodness Chicken Salad from Panera Bread. So I got some good stuff into me before I was sacked by that filthy awesome decadent tray of beef cheesy lasagna, which my wife made.

  Okay, I changed the day to a maintenance day. Therefore, I got the touchdown. Not sure if this is legal, but I switched the next play to maintenance and moved the fasting day until tomorrow.

Okay, I changed the day to a maintenance day. Therefore, I got the touchdown. Not sure if this is legal, but I switched the next play to maintenance and moved the fasting day until tomorrow.

Let’s face it. Fasting two days in a row on 600 calorie a day diet is probably not realistic and is more realistically the act of a desperate fat man. So maybe calling the fasting play was a dumb health call? It was. However, it is time to move on to the next health play. It is health and long. What call will I make?

Will I let the lasagna sack ruin my health plans or will I merely run the next one up the gut and return back to form?

So I ate the lasagna and took the sack. Big freaking deal. Even great quarterbacks get sacked sometimes.

My next call in the huddle? Make today an intermittent fasting day.

Ready break.