Saturday software releases, assorted donuts, and eating like a freaking pig all day

By Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - I must have consumed around 7,000 calories Saturday. I didn’t plan for the day to start that way.

Yes, I had beer. That is giving up a field goal to my inner fat slob. I only had two beers, but beer is beer.

Yes, I had beer. That is giving up a field goal to my inner fat slob. I only had two beers, but beer is beer.

Yesterday, I got up early, around 5 in the morning, and I should have went right back to bed. It was Saturday and normally a good day to sleep in, but I had a software release going on at work and I had to go in and confirm that everything was working properly.

This was my first time that I was invited to attend a software release. A colleague advised me that it is tradition that if you go in to sign off on a release, that you bring in donuts.

Therefore, I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts on the way to work and picked up a box of assorted donuts.

I ate two breakfast sandwiches. Wait, I had scrambled eggs from McDonald’s earlier too. Later that morning I had two of those donuts, as we made it through the release process.

7,000 calories? How are you alive?

7,000 calories? How are you alive?

It was around noon when I was driving home. I was still hungry.

I stopped at Arby’s and had two Greek gyros. They were good. By now I am up to around 3,000 calories.

This is where the day gets really strange.

I slept for a few hours, but upon waking, around 1:30 pm, I found myself at the gym a short time later, and had a great workout.

Super Awesome Workout

I did about an hour of cardio and with other walking during the day, I burned around 1,200 calories, knocking me down to under 2,000 net calories for the day, somehow, after eating all that crap for breakfast.

The day was shaping up to be a win pulled from the clutches of defeat. But, alas, nighttime came and I found myself having “boys club” with my son. We watched movies, we wrestled, we built a fire in the back yard. It was a great night for it.

We also made a run to Sheetz because my boy was hungry. So later at night, I had 6 hot dogs and Doritos, plus picked on other stuff my wife had made and left for us since she went to the symphony.

How can I eat that much food?

How the hell can I eat that much food and not be full? That is probably around 7,000 calories on the day? I have not weighed myself, but I know if I did, my weight would be a set back. In all honesty, I have been spinning my wheels since September.

As I type this, it is Sunday morning now, and I am sitting in Starbucks waiting for my wife.

After coffee, We are off to Church. Then I will find myself with decisions to make about the Steelers game at 1 pm. I know I will watch some of it at the gym, but then what? Where do we go from here?

Today’s Steelers game dieting strategy

Am I back to the bar for the second half? Or, maybe I will have a salad and give alternate day fasting a go? Will something ever work here for me? It is a depressing thought to think I will never figure this out.

Can I go from a “Health Bum” to a “Health All-Pro”?

I will hold out hope I can make a change. The day is just getting started. Let’s hope my Sunday’s health effort is not as bad as that freaking awful Saturday where it started with a  box of donuts and ended with my mouth a hot-dog wood chipper.

When will I finally have enough of being the laughingstock of the Football Fan’s Diet? When can I go from a health “bum” to an “All Pro”? Maybe that starts today?