The Prophet has spoken and Bud concurs: Steelers to beat Denver, 31-21

By Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - In between all the Thanksgiving fixings and helpings, I found myself at the Highland Bar in West View, Pa (about ten minutes north of Pittsburgh). There I met a group of men I have come to call the Great Orifices, eh, Oracles of the Highland Bar.

Steelers 31, Denver 21

  Pictured: The Polish Prophet (left) points at Bud (right) who gives a thumbs up on the Prophets prediction. When Bud concurs with Prophet, the football gods are aligned and so it shall come to pass (as the Prophet likes to say)

Pictured: The Polish Prophet (left) points at Bud (right) who gives a thumbs up on the Prophets prediction. When Bud concurs with Prophet, the football gods are aligned and so it shall come to pass (as the Prophet likes to say)

Of this supreme assemblage of manly men is the Prophet. His full name is the Polish Prophet and of what prophecies he pitches they tend to come to fruition. As he likes to say, “So the Prophet has spoken and so it shall be.”

There is “Bud” too, another wise man on the supreme committee. He either concurs with the Prophet and does not concur. When the Prophet prophecies and Bud concurs, the football Gods may as well be right there in the room. The spirit of Art Rooney, Sr is practically hovering nearby whispering to the Prophet what really happened during the Immaculate reception and what will come to pass when the Steelers travel to Denver this weekend (kickoff at 4 pm Sunday).

The ghostly smoke of Art Rooney, Sr’s heavenly cigar is heavy easily felt and makes my eyes water—or, perhaps it is the ripeness of all the bullshit that is thrown around the Highland Bar by the Great Orifices that is enough to make my nose crinkle and my eyes well up.

And thus the Prophet has spoken and Bud concurs: Steelers 31-Denver 21.

And so it shall come to pass. Someone get me a damn drink.