Matso The Fatso Goes Down Again, 10-42

By Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - I failed again on the third week of the Football Fan’s Diet, Season 47 to be precise. Not only did I fail, I kept trying to change things during the week, when I know what works. Before, I describe what works, let me recount how Week 3 on Season 47 went.

Matso The Fatso goes down in Week 3: 10-42. Can he turn it around?

Matso The Fatso goes down in Week 3: 10-42. Can he turn it around?

My Daily Gameday Objective was to count calories between Monday and Wednesday and I lost every freaking day. Plus, I was super miserable and irritable.

Dealing with cough, cold sucks when trying to diet

Moreover, I was not feeling well from a cold and cough. I still wrestle with some minor flu-like symptoms, but seem to be getting better. Later in the week, I tried to say I would make the switch to whole foods. That didn’t work either.

On Saturday, things started to settle down. I didn’t worry about it so much. I took my health plans more in stride. I did the 16:8 fast, but I think I could have done a Warrior’s Diet day if I had really wanted to do so.

Low energy, low fatigue while dieting

My daughter, who is 15, had a bunch of friends over. I entertained her and attempted to get the place ready for them. I recall feeling deeply fatigued while doing so, but I managed to get the back porch free of leaves. Cleaned up the inside of the game room. That felt like some kind of achievement.

Turns out by the end of the night, her gang all migrated inside to watch a scary movie - Sinister I think it was. It was a good night, though I was tired and I kept it real. I did mange to sneak out for a few beers when I was out getting firewood. The place was the Wheelfish bar.

The place is great because it is right down the street from me. It is the one bar I could walk home from (and to) - that would constitute a reasonable walk for this fat mofo. Moreover, they got great barbecue too and smoked wings (not fried).

Checkered past at the Wheelfish bar in Pittsburgh’s Ross Township

I used to go to this place a lot a few years ago, before I had it out with a bartender. My bar sin? Someone was playing explicit lyric music on the jukebox late at night. I complained by asking how long must I have listen to this shit? It was the lady’s boy friend’s music and after that we simply never got a long well.

They eventually got rid of her. I am a forgiving type and I don’t name names—like the POTUS. I will say her name is spelled with a K, but to me, it should have started with a “C” and will forever be spelled that way in my mind. Nonetheless, I aim to give it another shot. Smoked wings and a walking commute is a big positive.

What about the Warrior’s Diet?

I will give the Warrior’s Diet another shot too. Ultimately, I do think it works. I need to give it an honest effort now and part of that involves skipping beer during the week. It is Monday and I can’t help but think if I had a great workout Monday, Tuesday, Wed., and Thursday, then a reasonable Friday and Saturday of yard work, could put me on the path to health.

Can moderation work for weight loss?

I am only shooting for health and a reasonable beer on the weekend. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. Today being Monday, I am looking forward to the gym tonight and to get things going in the right direction.

Weight loss by spring starts now

Hard to believe there is less than 3 months left on 2018. Spring will get her in 2019 and the question I need to ask myself, will I be in championship form by then? Or will I be a laughing stock? Perhaps I might be health dynasty be then.

So here goes another scrimmage week - back to the Warrior’s Diet intermittent fasting approach. I have 20 hours of fasting with a 4 hours of healthy eating. Let’s see if I get it right this week.

Steelers Update

In other news, the Steelers looked good on all phases of the game Sunday, defeating a very lethargic Atlanta Falcons team. Antonio Brown scored, James Connor piled up over a hundred yards rushing, and Big Ben put in a workmanlike effort. The defense too, was fairly resilient, especially considering how bad they have been.

Can new hobbies help detract from food?

Lastly, in a welcome diversion from health, I had another blues piano lesson. I should be writing my science fiction book, but what the heck, no better time to learn a good blues tune than when having a real reason to sing the blues—as in dieting failures galore.

Now then, can this week mark the week that I begin to turn things around? will my defense show up. Find out on Week 4 of The Football Fan’s Diet.

Is that enough bullshit for one posting? See next time on Any Given Sundae you beautiful Fat Mofo.