How to lose weight and become an internet butt model

By Scratch

PITTSBURGH (FFD) - I don’t know the answer to the title of this article—How to loose weight and become an internet butt model?

It was a hook to get your fat ass onto this website. In fact, sometimes I don’t think I know the answer to how to lose weight in general. But, for a day, I did. So I can share that victory with you.

Counting calories worked Wednesday

I struggled to make it through the day yesterday but I am happy to report that I successfully counted calories and the scale was rewarding that effort today. In fact, I checked back in at just about the same weight I was at last week. So I am back to where I began.

That is good.

Wait, that is not good.

That sucks!

Since last Thursday my weight has climbed back up over the weekend measurement. Then, like an insane person doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results, I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday getting the weight back down, going back to what I know works best—Warrior’s Diet.

Changing health habits to support weight loss

So what do I do now, sitting here on a Thursday in October, that will different then what I did last week at this time? Just like I don’t have the first clue on how to become an internet butt model, I am not sure how to break an unhealthy pattern that has kept me a Fat Mofo since 2009.

I will start with the thought that I can’t do what I did last time. Last time, I did the Warrior’s Diet and attempted to corral my bad habits into a 4 hour binge window. This is how I took the fine idea of intermittent fasting and totally butchered the hell out of it.

Healthy lifestyle choices require planning

One thing I can do today is plan. To me, planning addresses the key challenges I will be facing today. From the stand point of football, I can game plan around those obstacles.

Dealing with health obstacles

My enemy on the football field of health, at least for this Thursday, is surviving a social occasion where I know beer will be served and ordered by me more than once.

Yes, tonight, I will be meeting a great friend for a couple beers in Pittsburgh somewhere—most likely Lawrenceville hipster town in Pittsburgh.

When I meet this friend, craft beer is usually the drink of choice. The problem is how do I enjoy a craft beer tonight, while not letting the evening become the event that undoes all the good work I have done in the past couple days?

My Simple Plan: exercise and count calories

I will exercise early and watch calories throughout the day. That is the simple plan and it may not sound fancy, but it is a freaking plan. Yes, it might be the equivalent of the bottle cap and drawing routes with sticks in the dirt, but if you want to go long, you have figure out how you will do so.