Welcome to The Football Fan's Diet – and fuck off
The Football Fan's Diet is a weight loss plan centered around a full professional American football season. It is six months long, but you can modify it to make it full year or maybe even shorter than six months. Among other things, the Football Fan's Diet is a like fantasy football and dieting combined together.
Let's face it. You know you are a fat motherfucker. You like fantasy football. You like football. You might be a washed up high school athlete, a pro athlete – who knows.
The point is you need to stay in shape. You need to put the beer down. You need to be a man - or a woman. Or, I don't know, both I guess.
It doesn't matter who you are. If you have a health goal and you like football, this is probably the diet for you.
Of course, we will add the obligatory disclaimer that you need to consult with a physician before embarking on any diet, but you also need to have your fucking brain examined too. So, go see a psychiatrist before starting this diet. It will do you good.
On that note, welcome to the Football Fan's Diet.